What if it were real? Ricky and Bianca

Last week in Eastenders we saw Bianca Jackson tell Ricky Butcher that their marriage was over.  When marriages and relationships come to an end it is a very sad time for everybody concerned but where there are children of the family, care needs to be taken as to how the matter is dealt with and explained to them.  A primary issue should be agreeing contact arrangements to enable the children of the family to have ongoing contact with the non resident parent.

I was therefore shocked and saddened to see that Bianca simply told Ricky the marriage was over and that he had to leave the area because they both had to "move on".  When Ricky asked what would happen in relation to the children, Bianca callously replied that she would tell them that he had to go abroad to work again.  The whole focus of the conversation was about the impact of the breakdown of their marriage on each other with little regard to the impact on the children, what would happen in terms of their finances and ongoing financial support after Ricky left.  We then saw the whole family go with Ricky to the tube station to say goodbye without any proper explanation being given to the children as to why he was leaving or when they would see him again. 

The children of the family have had a difficult time in their short lives. Bianca and Ricky have previously been married and then divorced. This lead to Ricky not being a part of their lives. Years later Ricky and Bianca reconciled and Ricky became part of the family once again, only for him to be ordered out of their lives.  Children need consistency and stability and even if parent separate and/or divorce both parents should be able to have an ongoing role in the children’s lives and see them regularly. 

The script writers could have stage managed Ricky’s exit without losing any of the dramatic scenes but having featured a short discussion between the two main characters confirming that they would agree and implement a pattern of contact to allow the children to see Ricky on an ongoing basis.  Ricky would not have had to appear in the soap again but occasional reference could have been made to the children going to stay with him and having an ongoing relationship with him. 

It is time that soap operas took a responsible approach to divorce and separation where children are concerned and ensure that whatever acrimony exists between the parents does not impact on the children.  Resolution, the body that sets a code of conduct for family solicitors who are members, has long promoted leaflets and courses entitled "Parenting after Parting" which encourage parents to take a child focused approach to separation and divorce.  I think the script writers of all soap operas should attend one of these courses in the hope they learn and take away the importance of putting the needs of the children first to minimise the impact on them when relationships do come to an end.  For so long as soap operas continue to portray families splitting up and the children being treated as possessions belonging to one parent or the other. This will mean that some people will think it is acceptable to behave in this manner and it is not.

I hope in future that soap operas will begin to take a more responsible approach to what happens to the children of a family on divorce because I am sure that everyone would agree that minimising the impact of divorce/separation on children should be everybody’s main focus.